Category: Musings

The smell just after it rains.

The sounds of a champagne cork popping.

The crackle of fireworks.

Jumping in the ocean and floating on the waves.

Doing a bomb in the pool.

It’s been almost 7 years since I visited Japan and I forgot how much I loved it there.

We only had a night in Tokyo before heading to Okinawa for a week. We arrived at 8pm and our next flight was at 6am the next day. Common sense would advise an easy dinner and straight to bed but I heard myself say ‘let’s go to Tokyo’. I guess common sense really isn’t that common…

We jumped on the train and got a cab to Ginza. As soon as the automatic door of the taxi opened, I realised how much I missed Tokyo. Standing on the street I felt my tiredness replaced by excitement. I am energised by this city.

Japan is like going into the future and stepping back into the past at the same time. Tradition exists next to innovation. It’s modern and yet old fashioned at the same time.

The izakaya we went to was so perfectly styled with a mix of old timbers, but you know they weren’t that intentional. It just is that cool in Japan. They don’t even have to try.

I almost cried on the way back to our airport hotel but immediately set up flight sale alerts for Japan. We’ll be back soon, and stay longer than a night for sure.

After seeing my friend Sammie’s success with her list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, I thought I’d write my own. I remember when she posted the list and 1001 days seemed like such a long time but her time is already done.

The time will pass anyway, and faster than you realise. Better to start with a focus and see what happens.

I say if you don’t write it down, it won’t happen. I also love a list so here goes!

Travel

1. Go on a road trip with Jim
2. Try glamping
3. Visit the Philippines
4. Go back to the Cook Islands
5. Go back to New York
6. Visit Sicily and the south of Italy
7. Visit Spain and do a food tour
8. Go on safari
9. See Victoria Falls
10. Visit South Africa
11. Visit Morocco
12. Visit Jordan
13. Visit Sri Lanka
14. Visit India
15. Go back to Japan
16. Visit Taiwan
17. Go back to Cuba
18. Swim in the Caribbean
19. Swim with whale sharks in Ningaloo Reef
20. Swim with the pigs in the Bahamas
21. Visit the Maldives
22. Visit the Seychelles
23. Visit Mauritius
24. Visit Zanzibar
25. Stay at the Kakslauttanen igloo hotel
26. Stay in a treehouse
27. Go wine tasting in Sonoma
28. Go on a sailing tour
29. Visit New Orleans
30. Visit Canada
31. Visit Chile
32. Visit Peru
33. Visit Argentina
34. See the northern lights
35. See the aurora Australis too
36. Visit Antarctica
37. Visit all 7 continents

Friends & Family

38. Host a pool party
39. Go on a girls weekend away
40. Go on a girls trip overseas
41. Go on holidays with my family
42. Host a movie night party
43. Visit my friends overseas
44. Visit Jim’s family in the UK
45. Take my mum on a holiday
46. Make family calendars & photos albums for my mum

Work

47. Update my Hair Romance site design
48. Update my website design for Mr & Mrs Romance
49. Create new branding/logo for Mr & Mrs Romance
50. New branding for Hair Romance too
51. Create 50 videos for my youtube channel
52. Host a workshop
53. Have a photoshoot with Jim
54. Sort out my emails and outsource them
55. Be a mentor
56. Launch a product line for Hair Romance
57. Create a community video course for Hair Romance
58. Go on a business retreat with my mastermind group
59. Start investing

Giving back

60. Donate blood/plasma 25 times
61. Hold a fundraising event for charity
62. Volunteer
63. Partner with a charity for our blogs
64. Enter a fun run / walk

Hobbies/Personal

65. Learn to scuba dive
66. Learn to ride a horse
67. Go horse riding on a beach
68. Do a creative photography course
69. Hold an exhibition of my photos
70. Read 50 books
71. Practice & improve my Italian
72. Go to an AFL game
73. Keep doing my gratitude diary every day
74. Use my planner every month in 2017
75. Write on my personal blog at least 2 x week
76. Complete my toastmaster’s workbook
77. Write our wills
78. Go to the ballet
79. Paint a picture
80. Learn Spanish
81. Go to a dance class

Home

82. Makeover our bedroom
83. Print my photos and make a gallery wall at home
84. Learn to cook 5 new recipes
85. Set up a bar trolley
86. Visit 10 new cafes/restaurants near home
87. Have a dinner picnic in the backyard
88. Host a dinner party

Just for fun

89. Sabre a champagne bottle
90. Hire a wardrobe stylist
91. Go on a health retreat solo
92. Fly in a helicopter
93. Fly in a seaplane
94. Go quadbiking on sand dunes
95. Throw a costume party
96. Learn to drive a boat
97. Learn to sail a boat
98. Learn to ride a bike properly
99. Explore 3 new suburbs with friends by having a roving dinner party and eating all day
100. Do weekly random acts of kindness
101. Crash a party

Starting today, my 1001 days finish on my sister’s birthday – 21st September 2019.

It was much harder than I thought to write down 101 things, and I found myself judging the things I put down (or didn’t include). Why do I do that?

I can’t wait to get started on this list and will also keep a check of other things that happen that are list-worthy.

Hope you make a wish for 2017 and that it comes true!

I was chatting with my uber driver, Pramod, today and after discussing his upcoming wedding, talk turned to careers. He’s just finished university and was trying to work out what to do with his life.

I told him a secret that I’ve recently learnt…

No-one knows what they’re doing! We’re all just making it up as we go along.

This truth is both terrifying and a relief.

There is no one answer, we’re all just working it out one day at a time.

I told him about an old boss of mine who helped me a lot. Hubbo helped me work out what role I wanted by picturing myself in the more senior roles in the company. Turns out I didn’t want any, and soon resigned, but Hubbo still taught me a lot through our many conversations about work and life.

Working out what you don’t want can be as helpful as learning what you do want.

But remember this: we want and like the things we’re good at.

Hubbo told me to allow time (at least a year) to work out how to be good at something before deciding you don’t like it. That way you’re not discounting an option just because you suck at it.

I never knew my job would be what it is now, and I know it will change in the future because change is inevitable.

Once you lose the fear of not knowing what you’re doing, you can learn great skills and work out what you really love to do.

It’s really hard to keep a new habit, especially if that habit is healthy or good for you in some way. Bad stuff is way more fun and easier to maintain, right?

The secret is habit linking.

Instead of trying to add in a new healthy habit while removing a bad one, link your new habit to something you already like to do.

For example, if you want to take up running on a treadmill (I can’t think of anything worse), then make that the same time that you watch your favourite TV show. You can’t watch that show any other time so it will force you to run on the treadmill. Eventually the goodwill you feel about your favourite show will also rub off on the treadmill and you’ll enjoy that too.

You can also link a reward habit after the new healthy habit – like getting a massage, or buying yourself something.

For me, I wanted to up my daily steps and walk more every day. Working from home means I don’t have a big commute and so I head out for a walk either in the morning or mid afternoon. To motivate me to go, I started listening to podcasts.

My podcast library is full and if you’re looking for a podcast to link to a new habit here are some of my current favourites:

• Straight & Curly – Just named in the top 10 podcasts of 2016 by Apple, I’m so proud of my friends Carly and Kelly for their life hacks podcast. I also love that Carly always talks about me in almost every episode. Never change Carly.
• Freakonomics Radio – An always fascinating look at the hidden side of everything. I binge listened to this over the last holidays.
• My Favorite Murder – Thanks to Carly, I’m developing a new interest in true crime and I also binge listened to this new podcast.

Stay sexy and don’t get murdered!

Also, don’t forget to link a current favourite habit to a new habit for more chance of success.

Friends are the family you choose. I’m so lucky to have amazing friends in my life.

Lately though I’ve not made my friendships the priority I think they should be. I let work and other things get in the way of maintaining those friendships. It’s easy to think that if you like and Instagram photo or Facebook update that you’re keeping up the friendship but it takes more than that.

Some old friendships can withstand long periods of no contact and it feels like no time has passed. They are gold.

New friendships are harder and when you meet someone you want to get to know better, you need to have real life contact. Making friends as an adult takes effort and intention.

Friendship is one of my most important values and I want to be a good friend to those special people in my life.

You never get the whole picture on social media and I want to be there for them, like they have been there for me. Our Facebook highlight reel is not real life. Real friendships deserve more than likes and shares.

So my newest personal goal is to put the time in and prioritise my friends. I’m not the friend to bring over homemade food when you’re sick, but I’ll stop by the shops for what you need and I’ll take you out for a cocktail anytime. I’ll text you to say I’m thinking of you and email you funny things that remind me of you.

I won’t wait for Facebook to remind me it’s your birthday because one day Facebook will be gone and those real life moments are what really matters.

My dear friend Mrs Woog wrote this post yesterday and it was perfect timing as I was also meeting her for lunch.

I told her that I love that she’s talking about a subject that’s so often hidden – talking doctors.

I’ve been seeing my talking doctor for almost 3 years now.  He’s amazing. I go once a month and I get to talk about anything I want. We also keep a list of points/goals that we do a check up on to see how I’m going.

He’s helped me define my personal values and has talked me through some really tough personal times.

At times it feels like an indulgence to go and talk about myself, especially as I’m feeling so much better than when I first started seeing him. I was full of anxiety back then. Add in a dose of depression and everything felt so difficult.

I see my visits as maintenance. I never want to go back to how I felt before and this keeps my health in check.

Think of it like exercise for your brain. You can’t train for a marathon once and expect to run a marathon every year after that initial training. You have to train every year and adjust for how your body is at the time. It’s the same for your brain. You have to keep tweaking your training to keep yourself in marathon condition.

My brain is probably in better shape to do a marathon than my body. We had dumplings for lunch and Mrs Woog introduced me to Rainbow Beef.

And that is why I won’t be running a marathon anytime soon.

#dumplingsforever

This year I’ve been trying to re-acquaint myself with some screen free hobbies.

I love working online but it’s important to give your eyes a rest and try something offline. My friend Carly is obsessed with crochet but I’m not that crafty.

I wanted to try something simple that I could do at home without investing too much (you know, in case I didn’t keep it up). I tried drawing and that was ok but I have really embraced reading. I loved reading as a kid and enjoy reading for business but haven’t read for pleasure in a very long time.

I joined my local library and now have a stack of books on my bedside table. I’ve read more books in 2016 than in the last 10 years combined.

A few I’d definitely recommend are:

• Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari – Funny perspective on love and modern dating rituals. Great research combined with a brilliant comedic voice.
• Wild by Cheryl Strayed – An autobiographical book about a painful part of Cheryl’s life then proves you can push yourself beyond your limits.
• The life changing magic of not giving a fuck – While I enjoyed Marie Kondo’s original tome (and my drawers are still organised vertically) I found Sarah Knight’s version so refreshing and honest. Women give too many fucks about things that are not important. One of the best self help books around.
• Love Style Life by Garance Dore – I love supporting bloggers and I bought this rather than borrowing it. It’s an easy style guide with moments of truth, realness and honesty.

Another book I enjoyed but that I’ll save you the time of reading is The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan. It’s a book with a beautiful and singular concept that multitasking doesn’t work. There’s over 240 pages to prove that you need to pick one thing at a time to focus on.

For many people, it’s hard to hear but I know it works.

I combine this theory with Todd Herman’s 90 Day Year to set a single 12 week goal. You can build a new habit and make real change in this period which you can build on in the next 12 weeks. This is game changing work flow.

Read anything good lately?

One of the joys of working for yourself is that you don’t have to endure work meetings.

Working in corporate, I felt there was so much time wasting with endless meetings with no agendas (or too many agendas!). Meetings that would go for 4+ hours with so much talking but no decision making. Meetings that would cover up for colleagues who didn’t want to do any work. I was so frustrated by this pointless cycle.

But sometimes meetings can work. Real face-to-face talks can solve problems quickly and stops the endless email tennis.

I have come to realise that the more routine I have, the more creative I can be. I fought the routine for so long but I realised that a system can help me create space.